1. Definitions
Let's start with general definitions.
Mathematics is made of 50 percent formulas, 50 percent proofs, and 50 percent imagination.
"A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems" (P. Erdos)
Addendum: American coffee is good for lemmas.
An engineer thinks that his equations are an approximation to reality. A physicist thinks reality is an approximation to his equations. A mathematician doesn't care.
Old mathematicians never die; they just lose some of their functions.
Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them, they translate it into their own language, and forthwith it means something entirely different. -- Goethe
Mathematics is the art of giving the same name to different things. -- J. H. Poincare
What is a rigorous definition of rigor?
There is no logical foundation of mathematics, and Gödel has proved it!
I do not think -- therefore I am not.
Here is the illustration of this principle:
One evening Rene Descartes went to relax at a local tavern. The tender approached and said, "Ah, good evening Monsieur Descartes! Shall I serve you the usual drink?". Descartes replied, "I think not.", and promptly vanished.
A topologist is a person who doesn't know the difference between a coffee cup and a doughnut.
A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there. (Charles R Darwin)
A statistician is someone who is good with numbers but lacks the personality to be an accountant.
Classification of mathematical problems as linear and nonlinear is like classification of the Universe as bananas and non-bananas.
A law of conservation of difficulties: there is no easy way to prove a deep result.
A tragedy of mathematics is a beautiful conjecture ruined by an ugly fact.
Algebraic symbols are used when you do not know what you are talking about.
Philosophy is a game with objectives and no rules.
Mathematics is a game with rules and no objectives.
Math is like love; a simple idea, but it can get complicated.
The actual quote from the Webster dictionary:
trillion n
syn SCAD, gob(s), heap, jillion, load(s), million, oodles, quantities, thousand, wad(s)
Mathematics is like checkers in being suitable for the young, not too difficult, amusing, and without peril to the state. (Plato)
The difference between an introvert and extrovert mathematicians is: An introvert mathematician looks at his shoes while talking to you. An extrovert mathematician looks at your shoes.
A bit of theology.
Math is the language God used to write the universe.
Asked if he believes in one God, a mathematician answered:
" Yes, up to isomorphism."
God is real, unless proclaimed integer.
Medicine makes people ill, mathematics make them sad and theology makes them sinful. (Martin Luther)
The good Christian should beware of mathematicians and all those who make empty prophecies. The danger already exists that mathematicians have made a covenant with the devil to darken the spirit and confine man in the bonds of Hell. (St. Augustine)
He who can properly define and divide is to be considered a god. (Plato)
"God geometrizes" says Plato.
and here is the analytical continuation of this saying:
- Biologists think they are biochemists,
Biochemists think they are Physical Chemists,
Physical Chemists think they are Physicists,
Physicists think they are Gods,
And God thinks he is a Mathematician.
Physicists defer only to mathematicians, mathematicians defer only to God
source :http://www.math.utah.edu/~cherk/mathjokes.html
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